Is he a family law attorney? Does he specialize in representing men?
As for your talk with the kids, and this is just my opinion, but I think teenagers are old enough to be told the truth about affairs. I told my S-then-14, in an age-appropriate way ("Mommy has a boyfriend, and it's not right for married people to have boyfriends or girlfriends while they're still married. I'm angry about it, and that's why you have overheard us arguing a lot lately. We're trying to work on it, and I don't want a divorce, but I wanted you to know the truth and I will ALWAYS tell you the truth"), and then I asked him if he had any questions.
Reasonable people differ on that approach, but you CERTAINLY shouldn't tell them you think a divorce is the way to go if you're still willing to work on the problems.
