Sad To Be Back 4 Years After The Bust

[chatterbug]

NOPE. THAT'S R talk. Do not try to pull that fast one on your wife.

ACTIONS.

[BeTheMan]

Ok Cutter. I know she will ask. My response will be something positive like "it was awesome" and let her wonder.

[BeTheMan]

Cutter - you said no need to post, but this is good for me....

1. I choose to have a deeper, more meaningful relationship with my kids.

2. I choose to be more comfortable in my skin.

3. I choose to find joy in small things.

4. I choose to not live in fear.

5. I choose to accept that my life may not be what I thought it would be.

6. I choose to continue my efforts to gain back that intended life, but also refuse to consider myself a failure if I am not successful.

7. I choose to forgive myself.

8. I choose to be a Leaf fan - gotta have one purely for fun.

9. I choose to be strong today when everything looks the most bleak it ever has.

10. I choose to really live my life, rather than just go through the motions as I have.

11. I choose to be healthy: emotionally, physically, mentally and financially.

There...Much like Spinal Tap...we've got 11.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

I am also concerned about the legal stuff. But...I have really put some calm objective thought into this aspect. I won't go into details, but I am almost sure it's safe for me to lay off on that part right now. I still have some control. I will see if WAW actually behaves the way she says she will after her move out. If she does, it's fairly safe to assume she will stick with her other plans. I have made the decision to take the calculated risk of not going legal at this time. It's a big risk, but I really think it's ok. I can always start that process before any major harm is done.
[b]

Just be sure you're not thinking about locking your barn doors after your horses have all gone missing.

Puppy

[Puppy Dog Tails]

NOPE. THAT'S R talk. Do not try to pull that fast one on your wife.

ACTIONS.

What Cutter said. ^

[chatterbug]

Ok Cutter. I know she will ask. My response will be something positive like "it was awesome" and let her wonder.

I think I would be more along the lines of.

It was a good session. Thank you for asking.

Thats it.

[BeTheMan]

I am also concerned about the legal stuff. But...I have really put some calm objective thought into this aspect. I won't go into details, but I am almost sure it's safe for me to lay off on that part right now. I still have some control. I will see if WAW actually behaves the way she says she will after her move out. If she does, it's fairly safe to assume she will stick with her other plans. I have made the decision to take the calculated risk of not going legal at this time. It's a big risk, but I really think it's ok. I can always start that process before any major harm is done.
[b]

Just be sure you're not thinking about locking your barn doors after your horses have all gone missing.

Puppy

I have a plan in place and will implement when needed - before even one horse gets his whole body out the door - maybe a head, but not the whole horse.

The moment WAW veers from what she says she will do, or even hints at legal stuff (which she has ZERO interest in now) I will start on my end.

Legal stuff on my end right now, might force her out of the fog that I think she's in, but there are other actions that can do that too.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Please know that while I'm almost always advocating ACTION on the financial front, pre-emptively (firewalling the family's finances so someone who is wayward can't access them, and then TELLING them why I felt the need to do so), when I say "legal" I really am referring to nothing other than having a good, comprehensive initial (either free or paid) consultation. NO ACTION. And you do NOT need to tell your wife about it -- it's just sensible protection, considering her recent decisions and actions.

For the record.

Puppy

[BeTheMan]

Gotcha Puppy. And she has very little access to family finances.

[chatterbug]

Ok. When your done that list.

I want you to start on the next list.

2 pages.

Page one

Go.

Page two.

Stay.

Write what ever you think for one week.

Here are some examples from mine

Stay
2. The most beautiful eyes
8. A chance to fall inlove again
14. Sacrifice Immediate life for a truer love later in life
25. blueberry pancakes
30. Rebuild trust
I have 30 on the stay

Go
2. Trust ? Can I ever trust her again?
8. Fall in love and have a new life
14. She is most likely to never come back
25. Not selfish
38 Gave up 13 years for a few weeks
50. Would this repeat? Not the affair but one giving up
59. Her only purpose in life is to keep an 8 year old apart from her mother and father.

So I have 59 on the go list.

I stopped adding to them about 3 weeks ago. No new ideas for either. Spent 3 weeks writing them.


What ever you Think. Write them down. And keep on your I choose list. You are going to see how it changes over the next few weeks. These questions are really going to help.

You are not allowed to repeat ideas on the go stay list.
But you can repeat ideas on the choose list. As they will evolve.