Hope and heartache

[ClingingToHope]

CBart, my goal is to feel closer to my wife and for her to feel closer to me.

I have listened to the group. I did not get flowers and tonight is my night with the girls. I will pick them from the after school sitter and will not call.

She is the late night supervisor and I will let her call me.

I am very tired. I picked up and read "I Do Again" by Jeff and Cheryl Scruggs. Has anyone out there read this?

It's written from both points of view. Cheryl talks about the loneliness she feels in a supposedly perfect marriage to a man devoted to her outwardly but not emotionally.

So she convinces herself they are wrong for each other, never loved each other and she pushes through a divorce.

He writes about being completely blindsided and how lost he was when she refused to work on the M at all.

So the first part of the book fits my situation perfectly.

I read it through to the end, which talks about the seven years they were divorced before they remarried. The first two Cheryl continued to live in the fog. Not really happy but emotionally attached to an EA that became a PA and was on its way to marriage when she realized she couldn't see herself raising her twin daughters with someone other than her ex.

She started going back to church and eventually realized she wanted her ex back.

He was having none of it for a long time, but eventually it worked out.

It gives me hope again -- and another weird discovery this morning actually calmed my insecurities a bit -- but I know hope can be a dangerous thing.