Try and Identify what you have done to create this sitch. Listen to her - DO NOT TALK BACK - just listen and give 'I understand..... or It must have been hard.....' phrases and reassuring noises. Do not use your contact time to vent your feelings and fears - she doesn't want to hear them - but LISTEN to hers.
Try and create a positive mental attitude. This is VERY difficult, and I am only occasionally able to do it myself - but it helps.
Consider that she may be having an EA. Seriously consider it.
Do not snoop, pry or interrogate her about what she is doing. If she tells you what she is doing - and it is hurtful - what will you have achieved? Just more pain.
Accept you can not talk her out of how she feels.
Accept you can not try to talk her out of going for a D.
Accept you are not in control.
Do not tell her you love her. When she replies with silence or 'I know', how does it make you feel - Worse. She knows how you feel - she did marry you.
Accept that this will not be fixed in days or weeks. You hopefully will only be able to measure it in months, some measure it in years.
It is very painful. Listen to the advice of others on here - they know their stuff.
Read up in the forums BEFORE she decides to walk out of the family home.
Regards Gyn.
Cause all of the stars, Have faded away, Just try not to worry, You'll see them someday. Take what you need, And be on your way and, Stop crying your heart out.
