Depressive WAW or Depressive MLC?- both with an EA

[Gynandtonix]

Friday;
Spent the afternoon having a good time at my Stepdaughters with the boys.
Just as I was leaving she receives a phone call from her my MIL.
WAW had been taken to hospital by EA at about 6pm. She is suffering from Stroke type symptoms.

My world collapses.

Luckily I can leave the boys with their sister and I rush off to see the WAW.
I find the WAW at 7pm - the EA is in attendance.
He leaves straight away when I arrive.
At about 9pm I ring the family to update them all.
I ring WAW's EA to thank him for taking her to hospital, and I mention I may be coming over later to get her an overnight bag.

10pm, We find that she is to stay in overnight, but Cluster headaches and stress are diagnosed - not a stroke.

11pm, The EA arrives with an overnight bag.
This is a disaster.
WAW's expression changes when he arrives, and she asks if they could speak alone for a few mins.
I go, but come back after 5 mins, the expression on her face hurts - she is totally entranced in their conversation. My impression anyway.

I return after another 5 mins.
The WAW is in floods of tears, I mean buckets. EA is stood up to leave.

I return after another 5 mins.
WAW is alone and streaming tears.
Keeps saying that she doesn't want to be there.

During the next hour the WAW's attitude to me changes for the better. When I am asked to leave by the staff at midnight, she kisses me good night on the lips.

On the way home I get a call from Daughter saying that the EA had packed all his stuff up and had left the WAW's place, (Brother in laws home)

This makes me feel good.
It looks like he has finally left my WAW.

Next morning I rang the WAW at 10am to be told she may be out at 1pm, and she will keep me informed. I had arranged to go to the cinema with the boys so I still go.

At 1pm I ring to see how she is doing. Hospital staff tell me her husband is picking her up now.

Bang!

I try to ring her Mbl - it is turned off so I leave a text saying 'I believe you have left hospital'

She rings me straight back and tells it was a coincidence that the EA had rang up just after she was discharged.
I was very cold and snotty to her.

I get home and find she had left a message on the landline telling me that she was out of Hospital and knew I was in the cinema. This is timed to have arrived the minute before she rang my Mbl.

She rings to say she still wants to do Duck apple withe the boys and me tonight's at 3pm.
I was very cold to her.

She rings at 5pm and asks if I would like to talk and clear the air as if there is going to be an atmosphere tonight she would not come.
I voice ALL of my anger at the EA picking her up, and that the hospital said he was her H.
She explained it all to me and it made sense.
I couldn't let the boys down as they knew she was coming over tonight to play duck apple with them so I agreed there wouldn't be an atmosphere.

I asked her why she was crying last night.
She eventually said it was b/c the EA had come to the hospital last night to tell her he was leaving.
It seems my WAW convinced him to stay!

When she arrived I told her that I did not like the delay in when she answers my calls or texts. I told of my anger that she is always late to arrive for planned meeting like picking up the kids.

The evening goes off well - everyone has fun and there is no 'atmosphere'
Before the start of the evening I had texted the SIL if it was correct that the EA had packed all his stuff last night from her brothers house. She confirmed that it was correct, but that he was now back. Bast**d!

I got 3 more texts from the SIL during the evening - my WAW was surprised I was getting texts from her Sister, and tried to find out what was in the texts - I evaded her probings.

The evening ended, the WAW left, I had a good heart to heart with my Stepdaughter. She left and I got drunk.

Sunday.
A quick phone call from the WAW.
She sounded down and tired.
She told me she was missing the boys.

Monday.
Discovered the car was ill - broken shock spring .
We had a few light hearted texts about it, and she sent a few more texts trying to help me fix the car.
She was responding to my texts immediatly - very unusual.
These were unusual texts as the she was going a 'little further' that she had before in responding to my texts.

That night she arrived bang on time to pick up the boys as arranged.
This had never happened before.
The boys were upset to leave.

She rings me at the start of my shift to speak to the boys - they were VERY upset.
I text her after to ask if she was OK - she sounded upset.
She texted back straight away saying the boys had upset her b/c they wanted me not her and didn't want to stay there.

Tuesday.
no contact with the WAW until she arrived ON TIME to pick up the boys as arranged.
We spoke a little about the banal things.
As she left the boys hugged me and were upset at leaving me again.
Just before she left she asked if I was OK - it must have been obvious on my face I wasn't.
I told her I was upset about everything and how it has hurting the boys.

I told her I was unhappy about us and that our sitch is only a small step from D.
She asked if I had gotten legal advice.
I said no.
I asked if she had.
She said 'I have not gotten any legal advice at all'.

She left and then rang me at the start of my shift to settle down the boys.


I have decided to stop all physical contact between us. I am going to tell her I am not comfortable with the hugging when she leaves.
I am not happy with her at all at the moment.

She is responding better to and texts and calls.
She is arriving on time.
She is 'softer' to me when we talk.

It is not enough.

Bonfire night tomorrow and it is usually a big family event.
Not this year.
I am getting some fireworks for the boys - but I am undecided in if I should invite her along - or should I wait until she invites herself like she did for the Duck apple evening.

I am only just now (Wednesday) getting over the events of the W/e and processing my emotions and thoughts.
I am going to go through with my 180 and have no physical contact.
I am going to strengthen the no phone calls and texting strategy - I actually do not want to speak to her one moment, but the next, I want to hear her voice.

I am trying hard not to use the boys as a weapon against her, it would be so easy to set this up - but I must keep the moral high ground.

I thought I had seen some movement towards fixing our sitch with the episode of my WAW being in Hospital and the EA packing his stuff.

How mistaken was I.
I now see that my WAW has no feelings towards me at all.
Just numbness.

I feel like giving it all up.......