as for what your H said about dating other men, talk is cheap. And remember what they said about not believing what the WAS comes up with. He will feel very different about things if reality smacks him in the face. But you do what feels right for you.
I have but some tought into the words, "Go out an get it someplace else." It is NOT an UNIQUE phrase to this site. Guilt, perversity, shame, rationalization for their behavior, idk in your case, but one thing for certain you can for sure remove 'MLCH 41' from your signature file. Your husband is not in mid-life crisis he is in a full blown affair. Give him the dump and watch him come running back. Endorphins run out, sex goes vanilla and younger girls cost more than there worth. LOL. sorry youngins.
lets cover a few points here,
first, you wrote "I do struggle with what H's complaints were when the bomb was dropped about what I had been doing wrong in the R. So, for the past few months I have tried to change those things, 180s."
lets hear his complaints. and more importantly as you have spent time reading other peoples storys, what things do you feel you have done or ways you acted that may have driven him away. honestly think about your behavior not his complaints about it, thats is where your 180's will be more important.
secondly, He will feel very different about things if reality smacks him in the face. Now, I dont want to be so callous to say Men think of their women as possessions. But there is a point to that that I cannot put into other words this morning. Men, even wayward Men, become very jealous and even possessive of their women/wives when another man is showing interest in them. That is something to think about on this happy hump day.
It may go against what you feel is the right thing to do as you say; (however as you read this bulletin board you can see over and over again what WORKS and what does not). The right thing to me would be to do what WORKS.
Let me ask, are you a good actor? Can you play the part of the Magician? There was a thread awhile back by a gal named PearlHarbor. She created an illusion of others in the picture and that and giving him the dump worked for her.
possible examples to create that illusion: Going out with no excuse or location given, staying out late, stay out late till 3:30 in the morning!, Mysterious cell phone calls, remember to clear your history!, oh dont forget texting, hahaha. and the new sexy panties and nighties not hidden all that well. maybe a couple of books on the nightstand, how to talk to the children about divorce, and tantra sex positions. oh and i forgot the guys name that always pops up esp. in quirky phrases like Bob is so weird he must be an alien or I cant believe he would order spegetti for lunch. Cha ching. that would be a killer to hear, who the hell he she going out to lunch with, she is suppose to be waiting a home pining over me?
The new attitude, "you are right, this isnt working out." "I dont have time for someone that doesnt have time for me." "gotta go talk to you later ba-bye."
you got it, "You are right ... I AM one fabulous attractive woman!"
