Separated

[hbdad]

Deep,

For the last month I did everything wrong. I cried nearly everyday. I cried in front of my wife. I pleaded and I begged. I started doing all of the house chores laundry, bathrooms, you name it. I did this partly because I thought that is what she wanted me to do and partly because it needed to get done. She was not around much in the last 45 days. But everything or nicety I did made her angrier. It was like she just wanted me to fall off the face of the earth, NOW! Then a friend said to me the other day "You're Free!". At the time I did not want to hear it but after reading these forums and the DR book it all sort of made sense. To do a true 180 I feel you have to be yourself, a positive fun person that people enjoy being around. I am still nice to my wife but I am not going to be as available. I am going to go out with my friends. I don't want to be free but I cannot control my wife. I can control who I am and what I am about. I would give anything to keep my marriage together but it takes two and she needs some space.

I was not sure what you meant by "Personally however, I find there's a few fine lines to walk on if (and a pretty big if) the WAS mode was turned on by a perceived lack of love/attention/focus on problems in the M." Could you please explain? Thanks for the reply. You guys are a great support group!