For those with a WAS...How do you cope?

[courts0818]

Well I left tonight and went to the library to study. Put on earrings and perfume before I left, don't even think he noticed. Oh well.

This is out of control...Every once in awhile I will have a drink at home (maybe a couple of times per month - if that). And I usually drink something light like a Mike's Lemonade or a Raspberry Smirnoff (the flavored beer or whatever it is).

My H drinks beer, too much of it. In fact, when he comes over, he brings beer with him bc I never have beer here. Tonight he looks and sees he has no beer. So, he drinks one of my Smirnoffs - okay, not that big of a deal, but why does he need to actually have something? He should be here focusing on our DD, playing with her, talking to her, being involoved with her. He can't go one night without it?

He would say he wants a beer to relax - long day at work or whatever. I know he has a very stressful job, but...um...I don't care. FOCUS ON DD!

And when I left for the library, he texted me asking me to pickup a six pack. Um...I don't think so! Get over it dude. IDK what to do about this issue - it has been a SORE issue in the past. In fact, when we were only newlyweds we went to MC bc of his drinking (he would disagree and say it was other issues - but IMO the majority of the issues were a result of his drinking). He would drink too much and then he would say the meanest things to me. And he would get so angry that I didn't want to ML with him - um...your drunk, mean and gross - don't think so. Sorry, but a sloppy drunk doesn't turn me on. ICK!

In fact, we ended up in counseling bc of this - I was a bridesmaid and at the reception we were all drinking and dancing, well my H and some friends wanted to leave the reception and go to a bar, I wouldn't leave bc I was part of the wedding party and I wanted to stay for my friend, help clean up and that sort of thing. Because I wouldn't leave my H said soemthing like this (in front of my friends), "Well don't come home tonight then." And I think some other mean things. He had driven to the reception and had parked my car in the hotel parking garage - he left and I had no idea where my car was. He was drunk, rude, mean, disrespectful and I was done! I didn't come home and he called all around trying to find me and I would not answer my phone. I ended up leaving him a voicemail telling him he needed to have a MC appt. set up for us within a week or I was DONE! To make a long story short - we went a few times, didn't like our counselor, not much got resoloved - but he did signficantly reduce his drinking. He wasn't drinking to the point where he couldn't remember what he did or said. He was no longer getting drunk and being a complete a$$ to me. So things actually got better.

So now...it's not that he drinks a ton, but he drinks several times per week (maybe 3-5 beers a night) - it could be 7 days a week for all I know. It's another thing about him that makes me sick. And I have voiced my concern about this over and over and over again. I don't want him drinking in front of our DD - and that's not just me being a beer nazi. My dad had a drinking issue when I was growing up and I do not want my DD to go through it. And he's only here a few times per week - why would he need to bring beer when he's coming to see her?

Sigh, sigh, sigh...WTH is wrong with him? At this moment, I don't think he's good enough for us. He's not in love with me, he's in love with beer, poker, betting on sports and himself. YUCK!