Just to let you know I have received a couple of apologies.
At times I've witnessed moments of clarity.
I once remember getting a phone call. There was a "hello" I could hardly hear, then a long pause. I asked if she was ok and in a tiny broken voice heard "I'm so sorry. I can't believe I have treated you so awful." "I don't know why,I am so confused."
A week or so later she was mlc full tilt once again.
I have been divorced for about seven months now. A few months ago I received over the course of a couple of conversations somewhat of an indirect apology. Then back to crazy once again.