When my H and I first spoke in person 3 months post-bomb, I asked him if he had anything to say first. He said only "I'm sorry it's come to this." I did / do not consider that an apology, but it was all he could offer then.
A few weeks later, after I mentioned that I didn't like living alone (pre-DBing), he said that he had had a lot of time to think, and that he imagined I must be happy to be away from all of his angry rants, at least. I said that yes, they were quite abusive. He said "I know, and I'm sorry about that." Which was fine, but when the subject came up again, he dismissed it with "I've already apologized for that." So while I heard and accept his apology, he really didn't understand the damage those rants did to my well-being and self-esteem.
That said, after 40 years together, I see his guilt and remorse every time we meet. I don't know that I really need any further verbal apologies, as words come easy to a MLCer and can't be trusted. How he treats me going forward, whether together or not, is far more important, and I choose to focus on that instead.
M 65 H 64 T 39 & M 36 @ S 12/08 Two Ds
Do you know that the harder thing to do and the right thing to do are usually the same thing? Nothing that has meaning is easy. ~ The Weather Man
