My story begins with a twist...

[Deep]

[quote=TrentC]Things are good.
Here's the weird part...

She says she's worried about being physically intimate with me, but she will let me kiss her. I don't mean a quick "seeya tonight hon" peck on the cheek, and I'm not talking about a make-out session, but I do mean full-contact, lips to lips, 20-second long kissing. I think it's her way of testing the waters to see if she can get comfortable with me again.

One time she did pull away from me, and I did not kiss her good night tonight as she was already in bed when I got home.

I take these as positive signs.

Hi Trent, just out of (in part admittedly a slight morbid curiosity), could I ask if you got any further on her motivation / logic for this behaviour?

[TrentC]

Hi Trent, just out of (in part admittedly a slight morbid curiosity), could I ask if you got any further on her motivation / logic for this behaviour?

Nope. If I ask, it'll set things back. And I can't read her mind.

All I know is that she feels more comfortable around me than she has in weeks, so I'm going to let that continue for a while.

[Deep]

Gotcha Trent and agree with your viewpoint.

Reason I asked is that when W finally talked about things with me, one of the reasons why she kissed me (and yes like you, it was that kinda kiss), was to see if she could have the same kind of connection with me as we used to have and which she found with OM.

Not all women think the same of course, some of them put this huge premium on the emotional connection angle and how it could be felt in kissing (with a hugely unwarranted implication for the future of the r/s).

And no, W did not feel the "connection" with me and did not for a long time. Not that I was told for a long time either.

[chatterbug]

Interesting. I can understand that. Think back to when you were dating. If you held off on the kiss, the thought of it would grow. Wait a few dates and then have the kiss.

[Lll54]

Well I think I read somewhere that your sitch is getting better, is this true? I hope so!

[TrentC]

The past couple of days have been the closest to pre-bomb behavior as ever. We joke and tease each other, she will let me kiss her occasionally and spontaneously (though I'm trying not to push it at all).

If it weren't for the fact that she still sleeps in the other room and has a hard time responding to "I love you", I'd say we were on the way to reconciliation.

She still has not brought up or committed to joint MC. She is still technically recovering from surgery and home from work, so I'm going to table R discussion for the rest of the week -- even if started by her -- to keep the positive vibes going. Then I may bring up the question of MC, if she doesn't.

I have a meeting at church tonight but my weekly bible group is cancelled for tomorrow; one of the couples involved apparently got exposed to H1N1(!). I may go dancing again on Thursday. If I feel up to it.

[SpyBunny]

You should dance if you can. It helps with the PMA- it's hard to feel down when you're dancing!

[TrentC]

Yeah, but that first night nearly killed me. I haven't gotten that much exercise at one time in years.

[TrentC]

My wife just texted me to let me know that her doctor has the flu, so her followup appointment has been bumped a week. So she can't go back into work until the 11th at the earliest. (Her supervisor told her she needed a doctor's consent to return.)

[Lll54]

Wow. Good for you. I'm very happy for you! You seem to be doing quite well, look how far you have come. Make sure you don't jump the gun too soon. Like you always tell me...be patient.