S4H, I have said this before...divorce is just paper (legal papers). It means very little to me. Same as marriage I guess...it's a contract. I did not need to get married to be committed nor do I need a divorce to realize it is over. I respect that it is different for others however.
Well so far, I don't feel anything. Sure there are twinges now and then but they are very few and very far between BBJ.
As I wrote above it is only paper...the biggest hurt came when I discovered the affair and the months that followed (rehashing the lies and the deceipt). But eventually BBJ you realize certain things. NGF and most folks on this site have helped me realize that there are nice people out there. People that do not always put themselves before everyone else. People who are good at their very core. We can sit here and discuss all sorts of reasons why a WAS did what they did...MLC/ childhood / deaths of loved ones / etc. etc......This may be a blanket statement and I apologize in advance if I offend anyone....Walk Away Spouses (as defined on this site) are NOT good people...simple as that...
My kids and I will enter Canada via the Peace Arch on November 26. We wont stop by to see you though as it is a wee bit out of our way. I will say a few words to the Peace Arch in your honor - "Amare non � guardarsi l'un l'altro, ma guardare insieme nella stessa direzione".
The bomb and the couple months time following were the most painful. I dont even remember what it was like on my officially divorced day.
Divorce begins in the mind. Now it's a formality, a piece of paper stating what you've accepted and moved on from.
Good job on all that!
Plan something good for you on November 26th, aside from changing where you post. Funny, even though I 'stayed true to my vows' until the divorce date, I'd moved over to "Surviving the Big D" when I accepted that divorce was the final outcome long before it was finalized.
We all deal with stuff differently.. and that's what makes the world go round.
Thanks Guys! Well D8 turns D9 on the 27th so I will be celebrating her birthday as well as my first days as a legally single man..... K, you are right i did not want this but i have accepted it and i have moved on as best i could. Have I been changed by all this...of course. Hopefully mostly for the better.....but I have lost something.... Some have called me more cynical and maybe that is true. I realize that nothing lasts forever.....
I hope you will loose cynical as time goes by. Nothing lasts forever, I agree. But... if you fall into that trap, nothing will seem important or precious. K
I love what you wrote about WAS being not good people. In the course of going through all of this, I have often wondered if MLC, or whatever crisis these people are going through is just an excuse to allow them to continue with bad behavior. I realize that we all wanted to see our marriages work,and reconcile. Heck, sometimes I still do, although I realize that is not going to happen. But I think in the process, we make so many excuses, take so much of the burden and blame, that we forget that we are good people who deserve to be treated that way.
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
