My C knows all of this. He was our Marriage counselor in the past. He's not a family counselor, per se, but he is an IC and MC.
We have an appt next week for our oldest daughter and my W and I to start family C to learn how to help the kids deal with all of this.
I have had patience. I had done the Dbing and GALing. I've done them pretty well. My W doesn't see the guy who posts here, who just wants our family back together. When I am with the kids, I do my best to focus on them, and it certainly is more focused than it has been in the past (we're both good parents).
I am physically weak. I've lost 40 pounds and look much better, but I am exhausted. I have two jobs, one as a fulltime IT person and the other as elected leader of my community. My W and I have achieved so much, yet we are on the verge of letting it all go. It's my fault, mostly; but I do know it is her fault too. She's not without blame.
The holidays are approaching and she emailed me today to say that we need to discuss how we handle the kids over the holidays...that stinks. I want to be a family again. I know that the only way to achieve that is to be patient, give her space and work on myself...but how does someone see the positive changes when you are seperated and spend no time together?
I think C is my only chance to show these changes. Fortunatly, I meet with my C tomorrow and we see him again on Thursday together. I have lots to discuss with him tomorrow in preperation for Thursday. He is well aware of my goals, is familiar with DBing and even said that the book, which I found on my own, was a good book. I think he sees hope, but hasn't specifically said that..just that in his conversations with my W that he feels she is very conflicted and confussed.
I can't tetll you how much I appreciate the posts and feedback. It helps, even if I am being a bit weak and self-focused right now. I will GAL like never before for the next week, but I worry that come Friday, she will file. She has said as much; but again...she hasn't returned my paperwork, which I asked for twice...and I won't ask for again.
We are supposed to meet on Weds to discuss the transition of the kids. Last week I had C over lunch and she was upset because she said we said we would meet each Weds at that time to go over the transition. I offered to meet later, but she was busy. Today I emailed to confirm meeting at lunch to go over things and she replied that she didn't think we needed to. Not sure that is good or bad. I worry that she wants to wait until counseling to be in a neutral environment to tell me that it is really over and that she is filing on Friday.
