For those with a WAS...How do you cope?

[courts0818]

bluerain,
I also hate it when H calls it babysitting. It's so hard for me to stay quiet and not say something like, "Hey idiot, this is not about babysitting. This is about you parenting your child!" Ugh! I worked today and I sent him an email with all of the my crazy hours. The only he said back was, "Are you shittin me, 4am on a Saturday." So, I guess I'll see if he says anything else.

He's here right now. He got on our computer when he got here and I walked into the room and saw him looking at the pictures I downloaded from Halloween! Ohhhhhh.....I wanted to make a comment really, really bad, but I didn't. I sure hope he looked at those pics and it made him feel like poo for blowing it off.
And one of my friends/neighbors took a picture of DD and I when we went to her house. Wonder what he thought of that picture since I don't think he really recognized where we were and in it I have a huge smile and look super happy.

bluerain, I'm so sorry for everything you went through. But, I am inspired by how positive you are. You seem really strong, independent, wise, determined, hopeful, kind, confident and happy! All wonderful qualities - and I'm sure you will attract someone with those same characteristics.

I'm not happy with what I'm going through, but I am happy for 2 things that have helped me in this situation: 1. I have grown close to God. 2. I have learned so much about relationships and marriage. I hope that someday I will get to show my H everything that I learned. I made plenty of mistakes, but what I've learned has made stronger and wiser.

And yes, I've dealt with the "loss" or breakdown of our marriage for 15 months now. In the beginning, I was a sad, devastated mess. I'm not happy with where we are, but boy, I sure have grown. It's obvious from what I post on here that I still struggle, but I've faced intense sadness, pain and regret and someday my H will have to do the same. I think it's going to hit him like a brick in the face.

Thanks for your encouragment. : )