I have an appointment tomorrow morning with a lawyer...
This isn't what I should be writing, this isn't what I should be doing but it is what it is (I hate that saying BTW)...
I haven't functioned well today at work, I keep wondering what I did wrong even though I know this isn't about me...
He couldn't even give me a reason other then "I don't want to be married to anyone at all" - 20 years and that is all I get ...
I guess we will see where this leads, I need him to support his children and I also learned I get half his retirement (retired military) so hopefully I will be able to find a place for the boys and I soon...
The first appointment with the lawyer is kind of scary to anticipate. But for me, it was actually comforting after the fact. Because I was able to find out where I stood financially. Knowing that no matter what I will be able to keep my house and pay my bills helps to lessen the anxiety over everything.
Re. "I don't want to be married to anyone at all", imagine that a little differently. My husband said it, "I shouldn't/can't be married to anyone at all".
I fought that for the longest time. But you know what, where their heads are right now, it is TRUE!!! They are not behaving like people who can/should be married. So now I remind myself that the person my H is being now is NOT someone capable of being a husband. Maybe someday he will be again, but he isn't right now. So I have to accept that.
Anyway just wanted to say I know how this part feels. The day I went to sign the petition of service I got in the car and cried like a baby. 5 weeks later the man who couldn't be married still hasn't signed it...
Take care Serenity. Leep faith that God has great plans for you, because He does...
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