Ugh. I don't need pics, the mental images I came up with were upsetting enough.
I'm fine, really. robx's post about The Quick Solution was a good, if inadvertant, 2x4 that I needed.
Me: 44, Wife: 39 M: 17 years T: 20 years Bomb on 08/25/09 1/13/10: MC started 1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs 8/28/10: Wife moved out No talk of D, no movement
I have an appointment tomorrow morning with a lawyer...
This isn't what I should be writing, this isn't what I should be doing but it is what it is (I hate that saying BTW)...
I haven't functioned well today at work, I keep wondering what I did wrong even though I know this isn't about me...
He couldn't even give me a reason other then "I don't want to be married to anyone at all" - 20 years and that is all I get ...
I guess we will see where this leads, I need him to support his children and I also learned I get half his retirement (retired military) so hopefully I will be able to find a place for the boys and I soon...
May All Who Seek To Take My Life Be Put To Shame And Confusion; May All Who Desire My Ruin Be Turned Back In Disgrace. ~Psalm 40:14~
And I can hold my parents up as an example of remarriage -- they were married for 29 years, divorced for 10 months, got remarried and are still going strong now. It's not a perfect marriage, but they are happier then they were.
God has some funny twists is store for us, one way or the other.
Last edited by TrentC; 11/03/0909:00 PM. Reason: Added a link
Me: 44, Wife: 39 M: 17 years T: 20 years Bomb on 08/25/09 1/13/10: MC started 1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs 8/28/10: Wife moved out No talk of D, no movement
I keep wondering what I did wrong even though I know this isn't about me...
I know this feeling well, and it's hard to accept when there's nothing concrete on which to base the current state of matters. No "ahah! that's what was wrong!" Maybe try writing it out (H has issues!) and put it somewhere for easy reference if you have to.
I have an appointment tomorrow morning with a lawyer...
This isn't what I should be writing, this isn't what I should be doing but it is what it is (I hate that saying BTW)...
I haven't functioned well today at work, I keep wondering what I did wrong even though I know this isn't about me...
He couldn't even give me a reason other then "I don't want to be married to anyone at all" - 20 years and that is all I get ...
I guess we will see where this leads, I need him to support his children and I also learned I get half his retirement (retired military) so hopefully I will be able to find a place for the boys and I soon...
The first appointment with the lawyer is kind of scary to anticipate. But for me, it was actually comforting after the fact. Because I was able to find out where I stood financially. Knowing that no matter what I will be able to keep my house and pay my bills helps to lessen the anxiety over everything.
Re. "I don't want to be married to anyone at all", imagine that a little differently. My husband said it, "I shouldn't/can't be married to anyone at all".
I fought that for the longest time. But you know what, where their heads are right now, it is TRUE!!! They are not behaving like people who can/should be married. So now I remind myself that the person my H is being now is NOT someone capable of being a husband. Maybe someday he will be again, but he isn't right now. So I have to accept that.
Anyway just wanted to say I know how this part feels. The day I went to sign the petition of service I got in the car and cried like a baby. 5 weeks later the man who couldn't be married still hasn't signed it...
Take care Serenity. Leep faith that God has great plans for you, because He does...
I saw some pictures of the 2 of them in the beginning then he changed the wallpaper on his phone to a picture of them wrapped in each other's arms...
An image I will never have erased from my mind...
Wow. I wish I could reach through the screen and give you the biggest hug right now.
Like I said, my mental images were upsetting enough. If she were ever to confess to a PA to me, I would forgive her but I could never ask for any details.
(I would let her tell me, though, if she needed to get it out of her system.)
Me: 44, Wife: 39 M: 17 years T: 20 years Bomb on 08/25/09 1/13/10: MC started 1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs 8/28/10: Wife moved out No talk of D, no movement
I would accept it right at this moment as well... When he first confessed for some sick reason, I needed to hear all the details and when I say all, I mean ALL... Now a few months later I kick myself for that but it was done in a heated moment and it can't be taken back... So those images that he gave me and I formed in my mind haunt me... Some days are better then others though (((Hugs)))
Gardener ~
I know...I know...No yelling lol(((Hugs)))
May All Who Seek To Take My Life Be Put To Shame And Confusion; May All Who Desire My Ruin Be Turned Back In Disgrace. ~Psalm 40:14~
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