BillM's new thread

[ClingingToHope]

The WAS tends to think the LBS will "get on board" and do just as they want. When you are not included in the decision to end a marriage then the WAS is on their own and that includes finding new housing.

I went the opposite direction. I moved out and, in my case, I think I made the right decision. We have an old, large, hard-to-maintain house. W thought she could handle her 65-hour-a-week job, the kids, the finances and the house on her own.

I got a nice two-bedroom townhouse five minutes away by bike. I'm spending about $75 more a month than a I really want to, but it's big enough that the kids can spread out and they really like the place.

W has really struggled to keep up with the house. Two months after leaving she told me she wanted to sell. I told her I agreed. I was tired of the place as well. This surprised her. She thought I had a huge emotional attachment to it because my parents lived there for two years when I was growing up.

I told her the attachment was gone long ago as it became more and more expensive to update and maintain and even after we'd finish something it still wasn't that great.

So W gets the advantage of living in the nice big place, but she's running out of money. Basic stuff like getting the leaves raked isn't happening and all of these improvement projects she was going to magically do without me are all in the 1/4 completed stage.

Me? The property manager does a great job keeping things up. I have way more space than I need when the girls aren't here. I like it there. Sometimes I get hit with the "loss of the American Dream" blues. But I know in a couple of years, if I choose to, I'll be able to afford my own house. But if it's the choice between a house or having the money to take my girls to Florida or California, I'll rent.