I think (in my own lil warped mind) that not responding would send that message as well.
My criteria - if it involved Peanut and was something I needed to respond to (i.e. I will be dropping her off at 630 instead of 6, or Peanut forgot a coat - when can we come by to get one because I am too lazy or cheap to buy her one for here) not (How was your day? or I can't believe how much Peanut has grown.)
You have to find your own benchmarks and set your own limits though. Eventually you will come to a spot where you realize her intentions and you'll decide what is "worthy" of your response. You taking time out of your day to respond to willy nilly BS...will one day perhaps be a thing of the past.
</bluntness>
....Understand, that I can't, not be what I am I'm not the milk, and Cheerios in your spoon ~ Avril Lavigne ~ ..."Nobody's Fool"...
It is fun falling down to their level...it really is, I will not argue that. It feels amazing to take off the gloves and start flinging self righteous sh it, and burning bridges all to hell. You feel great for a little while. Its like a drug, and then you realize what you have done.
The climb back up is arduous trapt, and your going to miss being there.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
Well, t, I don't know exactly what she did, but mine got mad at me over the weekend for not sitting at home being at his beck and call and answering his tons of txt and calls (I did answer most).
He made a scene at S soccer game, and told my daughter that he is not part of the family anymore, that I don't love him, etc. etc. He really tries to manipulate me through her, b/c my son is too old and smart and will call his bs. Anyway... I'm on a rant, I'll move over to my own thread... LOL
I feel your pain though. Ug.
"Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out." Robert Collier
"One's best success often comes after their greatest disappointments." Henry Ward Beecher
After another email this am. my cell rang about 15 minutes ago.
I decided to go ahead and answer it. I had just finished an insanely busy day and if I didn't the calls would be not stop, she is the most relentless person I know. After the latest, I am now a ghost. : )
Of course I get "what's going on? How come I haven't heard from you" blah blah blah. Then I get grilled about the meaning of my comment I left yesterday about being predictable.
I actually laughed it off and said it's a joke. I heard "I don't get it." "What do you mean?" about five times and just blew it off.
I stayed upbeat and happy and pretty soon all the questions about the mortgage turned into "oh well I was just wondering, I haven't heard in a while. I'm not in a hurry" (whatever)
I did calmly address the issue with my daughter reminding her of her words just a month or so ago that totally contradicted what has been taking place. She had no response to that, other than "It's been more than a month." I said ok, well maybe a month and a half. She said nothing else.
I said my only concern here is for our daughter. I hope you really took the time to place yourself in her shoes and how that must have made her feel. She said she did that. I told her I disagreed and pretty much left it at that.
I wouldn't have answered the phone but I felt the need to address the issue with my daughter while still fresh.
My statement contained no anger whatsoever, perhaps a bit of guilt, but she can have that at this point. It is time she considered how all this crap is affecting our children. Will she actually do that? Probably not, but I'm not going to keep my mouth closed when it comes to the kids. I could tell the way I came acrossed was unexpected and it through her for a loop.
Looking forward to not dealing her for a while. : )
