Is detaching pushing WAW back into OM's arms?

[TrentC]

I think I'm doing a great job of detaching -- but I'm prepared for 2x4s! So swing away...

I've noticed when my WAW gets upset, she grabs her cell, runs into her room (at her parents house), and shuts the door.

[...]

So if I'm detaching by the book, is that leaving the OM as the only person she can talk to???

Here's another perspective on it:

With an OM, she has this fantasy life where she gets whatever needs she has fulfilled by him (emotional support, great sex, whatever), but it is the shell of a real relationship. If you detach and she runs to him, that fantasy becomes reality -- and reality is never as much fun.

It goes from being the sweet text msgs in the middle of the day and the quickie romp between the sheets when she "had to work late" to figuring out how to live together.

It's now about dirty clothes on the floor and who empties the dishwasher. It's about how cranky she gets when she's on her period, or how often he has the guys over to watch sports or play cards. How much space in the closet does she get for her stuff? How can she take the cat with her if he's allergic to pet dander?

These are all contrived and hypothetical examples, but I feel my point still stands.