I think that after this first visit you need to have a schedule set up as to when yor and W will be dropping by to see S. It is simply a matter of consideration. If you do not have an agreed time, then it will be a source of irritation and make things worse in the stitch.
We have another member whose WAW was popping in whenever she wanted....unannounced....and the LBH did not appreciate it at all. Once you S then you have to act accordingly.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Last night's visit went well. I got to see my S for about 45 minutes. He seems to be adjusting well so far. W & I both have plans tonight so I probably won't be able to see him. If I do, it will be a quick 5-10 minute visit.
We're taking it day by day. Neither of us are going to stop by unannounced. We know to call or text first.
I kept myself busy last night as I'm still reorganizing and "de-wifing" my house. All the girly decorations are coming down.
Me-39 W-31 S-4 Bomb- 9/5/09 Discovered EA- 9/15/09 Found "proof" that EA is most likely a PA- 10/8/09 W moved out 10/31/09
I already took down all W pictures & wedding pics. Only pics of my S remain. W's decorations are slowly coming down. I don't really have anything to replace them with yet so I left some of them out. I'm also rearranging my bedroom furniture & taking over W's closet space.
It's a slow process but I'm sure W will notice when she comes over for her first 'visit'.
Me-39 W-31 S-4 Bomb- 9/5/09 Discovered EA- 9/15/09 Found "proof" that EA is most likely a PA- 10/8/09 W moved out 10/31/09
I already took down wedding photos a couple weeks ago. I think I might have to go to Home Goods or somewhere like that and find some "guy" pictures to hang around the house.
Me 44/W 32 S1 M8 Bomb 9/25/09 Separate houses (about 1 hour apart)
I already took down all W pictures & wedding pics. Only pics of my S remain. W's decorations are slowly coming down. I don't really have anything to replace them with yet so I left some of them out. I'm also rearranging my bedroom furniture & taking over W's closet space.
For the time being....you could find your favorite snapshots of you & son or somebody else and enlarge them and print out on your printer. Then use the frame that held your W's pictures. Doesn't have to be something elaborate or expensive....just making a statement by putting something in the place of the other. BTW, be sure to place all the pictures you are taking down in a good box and put it in a good place in the closet or in a drawer. Make sure you use a marker and write in bold letters PICTURES. Any keepsakes that you want to keep but just don't want to have out visable at this time needs to be packed with care--and marked so that nothing would accidently happen to it.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
