Truth??

If spouse wants the OP, ANYTHING you do can "push" them into the OPs arms!!!! crazy

1)When I was nice to the OW in a public setting (she worked with my H), they got together later to talk about "Why BBJ was acting nice" like I was the manipulative one.

However had I been rude, I am sure they would have gotten together to talk about what a b!tch I was! wink

2)If you try to talk about the R, they might 'run' to the OP to get away. But if you don't talk to them, you fear they may 'run' to the OP for company. That does not equal being detached, b/c you are trying to figure out WHICH action you take will get you what you want...I learned that through experience!

3)If it rains they need to OP to stay dry, if it is cold they need them for warmth, etc etc--get the idea? You cannot try to find a way for them to NOT want the other person.

4)I asked the OW straight up if she was messing with my H because I had heard that from someone at the office. She lied to my face. 8 days later I had the chance to ask her about it as she was lying in a hotel room bed where I had just caught her with my husband. Her reason for lying to me? "I thought it was your H's place to tell you we were together, not mine...."

5)The person whose actions you can influence the most = you.

Last edited by BobbiJo; 11/03/09 06:37 PM.

Me-35

Together: 18 yrs
M-12.5 yrs
S-8
D-4
D'd: Feb. 2010

The LORD your God is with you,
he is mighty to save. --Zeph. 3:17