Custody and the parenting schedule are 2 different things.
No one is going to make it such that you wont see your children again. Please drop the dramatics on this topic.
My divorce papers and parenting plan indicates "Joint Custody" or "Joint Legal Custody". That does not dictate any parenting time - simply who has responsibility for major decisions, of which we both share. Sole custody would assign one parent to make those big decisions. And sole custody is probably best when both parents cant be amicable with one another.
There should also be a clause...
Each party shall make day-to-day decisions regarding the care and control of the Minor Children during his/her parenting time. The ability to make decisions includes any emergency decisions affecting the health or safety of the Minor Children.
I think that you need to come up with a parenting schedule that will work for you. This should include holidays and vacation. Your L should know how to write one up as they need to be somewhat detailed. For summer vacation, we alternate years on who gets first pick of dates and it must done before April so that the other parent has time to make their proper plans.
I really believe that if your L presents a fair and well thought out parenting plan to the court that it should show that your side as been level headed and wants what is best for the kids.
I tend to agree with Ian in doubting your L's experience in getting this done right. Custody and parenting schedules should have been done first before any haggling over assets/support. There must be a wall between custody and money issues.
If you desire, I can scan my parenting plan and email it to you so that you know what things to put in it.
