For those with a WAS...How do you cope?

[bluerain]

I mean stopped asking him to "babysit", I hate it when men say that, its your kid, its not called babysitting, its called being a dad! But maybe if you stopped trying to count on him, you wouldnt be disappointed.

I know, I loved to hear that that had happened. She was also M, and her H was out of state on a temp. duty assignment. She lives in another town about 700 miles away, and H had flown there once to see her, another time, he flew there to surprise her, and hes the one who got the surprise! Wow, a woman who is willing to cheat on her H is willing to cheat on her boyfriend! Thats unbeleivable (not!). It broke his heart, and I think went a long way toward making him realize what a terrible mistake he made. Not that he thinks that it can be fixed, but boy, he knows he screwed up.

Hes in the Coast Guard, and his ship was in dry-dock in the OW's town for 3 months. I really think that yes, we had problems, but mostly, I think that he just got lonely, and I was too far away to remind him that we had a great life together, so he was able to talk himself into hating me and our M.

I went through stages. I would be done for a while, I even dated someone, who turned out to ultimately be a whack job. But I would go back to being hopeful, and H came to visit in sept of this year. He sort of slipped right back into the role of H, and for 8 days we had a great time, laughing, ML, all of what we used to have. Then on the 8th day when it was time for him to leave, he told me that the love just wasnt there. I couldnt beleive it.

I know that he is miserable because of the choices that hes made, and I dont want to be with someone who doesnt want to be with me. Thats the bottom line. I know that I am a great W, even better with all Ive learned DBing, and someone will be very lucky to have me. I think that thats true for you too, if your H comes around, then boy, he will be a lucky man, but if not, its his loss, you have a bright future, he can be a part of it, but if he screws around too long, its his loss.

If it doesnt work out thn you can know that when what these WAS have done finally sinks in, they will spend a long time recovering from it. And you will know that you have turned over every stone trying to save this. You will have a much easier time than him.