you're still attached to the outcome, so you're not "detached"
You think going through the motions of being detached is "detached" but it isn't.
- You're still invested in every action that she takes. - You're still invested in speaking to the OM if he is still talking to your wife, hmmmm... yeah cheaters never lie.... 2x4 "whack!"
Stop all of this.
Detaching is detaching, let go, move on.
That last part where she suggested you read a story to your kids and she walked you to the door, good stuff.
If she wants to talk to you, she will, nothing more you can do about that, let it be.
