Not Me...Ever part 2

[Serenity13]

Good morning all ~

All I can say is wow...

I really expected to come here today and get a bunch of 2x4's but instead found love and support so I thank you all very much...

I am a better today for the most part...

I went home and hung out with my boys then watched the game when the little one went to bed...

I tried to get some good sleep however my mind wanted to play the conversation over and over again and different responses I could have given besides the ones I gave (Wifey, thank you for the rubberband idea, I will try that as of today)...

Hindsight is a b***h.

I am not proud of some of the things I said regarding the OW, I am not proud I threatened her, I am not proud of calling my H a bad father who is so selfish he can't see past the nose on his face (yes Gardener what I said is true, he has not seen our youngest son even one time since the day he walked out)...

I was so hurt last night he twisted the Bible to justify his actions and then threw it in my face...

I was pissed he is trying to take from our sons to finance his life over there...

I contacted 2 separate lawyers today, not to file however to speed up the child support process because I will not degrade myself by asking him for money every 2 weeks and then having to say what it is for etc (I am now waiting for one of them to contact me back)...

SD ~ He is moving his banking there so opening a new account, there is no legal seperation in our state though so I can't take that road.

Trent ~ Thank you for the links, I will listen to them this evening after I get off work...

So there you have it, I reacted on emotion yesterday and it got us nowhere...

I still think he is nothing but a liar and couldn't tell the truth if his life depended on it...

I see he is still lost in the fog...

I feel sorry for him as well...

The statement that he made "I haven't filed because I don't have the money" was very painful for me to hear and I really don't know if I should believe that or not...

I honestly at this point in time don't know what to believe in anymore.

Today I am calmer though still reeling from that first conversation however I am still moving forward, I will not allow this to set me back to the person I was a couple of months ago.