Not wanting to be on this boat........

[TrentC]

I am re-reading the last post and will 2x4 myslef, I need to work on not letting her effect what I feel and work on making me feel good for me.
However, I swing the 2x4 back b/c what if what i feel is missing is companionship and feeling loved?

There will come a time for working on that; once your wife has decided to work on the R with you, you can begin to heal those wounds. But this process isn't about repairing your relationship; it's about changing course away from ending it.

Making any kind of demands for emotional support at a time when she is apparently completely conflicted about the R (or trying to string the MC along) is not going to get you anywhere.

In fact, I would bring up the fact that she is telling you the exact opposite of what she's telling the MC. Your MC should be familiar with such tactics, and can challenge her on it.