Hey Al, back to that doesnt sound very encouraging, does it? Weirdly, the weekend with H felt like any weekend pre A (not pre bomb because during the affair he was always mad).
But as you have said earlier, we need to guide ourselves beyond those "normal" times because those times brought us here. Your BF seems to be trying to change, accepting there is an issue and fighting it. THAT sounds encouraging... K
Yes aneamic brought me MAJOR depression. That and a cheating husband.
It is very odd how we can be in such steep denial of our thoughts, fears, etc. all the time. Depression is also something that is easier for a woman to admit than a man b/c society has told us males we're to be strong, so to admit being depressed is a sign of weakness.
It is good your BF is moving forward. Too bad you had to spend two years in purgatory to get to this stage, but hopefully things will continue to progress for you both and you'll find the agony was well worth the effort.
RTL PS - Two things: How are you feeling? How badly did you "let" him beat you?
I don't think that you could honestly escape this. It is something he needs your support to face and deal with and you need to be aware of the signs and how to be encouraging without being a nag about it.
It is difficult but just one more "thing" to bring you closer together. I think you are doing great.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Glad BF is being proactive about tackling the depression, at least with vitamins lol. Sorry to hear he is losing his hair, that does also sound like anemia to me, so I hope he's taking iron too lol.
(((HUGS to both of you)))
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
Hey guys, thanks for your support, i am having a tough time, I didnt sign up for this.. I didnt wait 2 years for this! BUT, its not like I thought he would be fine,considering the state he was in when we were apart!
I have to confess.. I dont fancy him as much with less hair. I like guys with hair, longish, just past the ears (think Mick Jagger circa 1965)..its a real problem for me and although I havent told him, of course, he knows. I am being supportive. He told a MF and his brother who phoned that he was down again. This is amazing, he only just admitted it to me last week. In the past it took him months to tell his friends, not days. I was impressed and told him well done.
We are not having kids anytime soon.. he says he cant think about trying until he gets himself sorted. Sigh. I joked dont forget though I will be 67 next birthday.
He did remember today! We hugged earlier, I said, do you know what today is and he looked very sad and hugged me tighter and said.. yes, I do, of course.. He said he is certainly happier now than that day 2 years ago, then laughed, despite being depressed still.. because of what he knows now that he didnt know then. I kicked him up the bum in mock indignation.. how come yuo didnt know THEN? What, 10 years of knowing me wasnt long enough to figure it out !!???
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
Ha, no K that is funny, and very true Andabelle, well remembered! Mines still growing back!
His exczema is all cleared up. I switched all shampoos, soaps, we are eating more veg, less carbs, less alchohol..he is very glad and its a sign he is getting healthier. He seems a bit brighter and really enjoys taking all his supplements! One (the 5HTP) makes him very sleepy within an hour of taking it. I would reccomend it to anyone with depression/anxiety and problems sleeping. I really feel this is going to work. I need to look into other vits, yes like D maybe. He thanked me again last night for all my help.
So he DID remember it was the anniversary of the bomb. After we hugged and acknowledged it, he disappeared for ages. When I went to find him, he had done something he had never done before.. he was sweetly photoshopping and printing off a nice picture of the two of us together on holiday and then framed it. He remembered, I used to say, pre-bomb - how come there were no pictures of us together around the house like other couples have?? (maybe because we never got M!)
So that was pretty touching. He is a love, for all of his flaws!
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
We dont have pictures together either!!! And funnily, she was making pictures of them everywhere they were, with her hand stretched out to get the angle right!! GRRRRR
Good that things seem to improve. Hang in there!! K
One (the 5HTP) makes him very sleepy within an hour of taking it.
Ali, what is this? I work in a pharmacy and I don't recognise it. I suffer from depression and so am interested in what it is. Hope you don't mind the hijack.
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
