Kat, Mr. A did not call, but I have recieved a few text messages from him today. Those crazy hours have slowed down, but now it is hunting season...hmmmm...
Today marks the three year anniversary of the bomb and when H moved out. Although, I wish that my marriage had remained intact, I also see that I am doing okay. They say that things happen for a reason...maybe so. I now realize that time does heal wounds. Also I keep thinking of this quote, "What doesn't kill you, will make you stronger." Kind of fitting for all of us, don't you think?
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
I now realize that time does heal wounds. Also I keep thinking of this quote, "What doesn't kill you, will make you stronger." Kind of fitting for all of us, don't you think?
TOO fitting.
Just stopping by to let you know I'm still thinking about you, Yoyo!
Dropping in to say hello. I've been so busy lately with those pesky divorce questions. Finally got all of mine answered and went visited with my lawyer last Monday. She said that STBXH's lawyer had not returned his questions yet...said she intended on sending him a letter. Next meeting with lawyer will be with an accountant to get ready for a business valuation. Too bad my Mr. A can't do it, he doesn't do that kind of accounting, besides might be a conflict of interests...lol.
As many of you know I have been separated for three years now and have decided to give dating a try. Funny, how I never thought I would be able to find anyone who wanted to go out on a date with a 40 something woman. I have found that once I truly dropped the rope with my past everything started falling in place.
I've been seeing Mr.A for a few months now, but it's really on and off...can't figure him out...lol. Well, I decided dating meant that you date and figure out if you have anything in common and it is not exclusive. So that's what I'm doing. I had a lunch date with a 36 year old Saturday...does that mean I'm a cougar? Mr. A called me Sunday and we had dinner. A former HS classmate of mine contacted me on FB and wants to go out this week, I haven't seen him in over 25 years! I've already been asked out by another man for this weekend, but I am having a girl's weekend with four of my friends. We are going out of town, I can't wait!
So hang in there everybody...for so long I sat home and moped about H and OW, seemed once I let go everything fell into place. Was it because I was happeier and more upbeat, maybe I don't know, but I know it sure beats the heck out of worrying about them.
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
Yoyo, I am so happy for you! Glad to hear you're having a good time with dating. (I'll be doing that soon too hopefully).
It sounds like it's hard to keep track of all your dating/galing. Wonderful problem though!!!
So what is dating like???? I know I sound like a dummy, but I haven't dated in 25 years or whatever (since early college years)! Is it horrible, wonderful, in between? I'm embarrassed to admit I'm feeling a little scared with it coming up soon...
Karen, Do not feel alone in feeling like a dummy...I too had not been on a date in over 25 years when I went out with Mr. A.
I do recall the first time Mr. A and I went out I was so nervous. He actually kissed me...I could have died! I had not kissed another man in so long! It took me quite by surprise. After parting I started crying because I was so mad at my H for putting me in this position of having to date at 46. Yes, I know kind of weird. But now I am quite comfortable...but it took me a while to get there. You just have to dip your toe in the water and get the hang of dating, unfortunately...lol, it was almost like I got pushed in the pool...lol.
My lunch date Saturday with the new guy was nice. He only gave me a hug and kissed me on the forhead...very tall man! I liked that much better for the first date!
I'm not ready for anything serious, but it sure is nice having a life again!
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
You sound wonderful! I'm sorry that I haven't been in touch. I know I said I'd try to call. I've been thinking about you.
I'll likely start a new thread here soon and get back in touch with everyone. Back in August I was as calm and confident as could be when I told my H that I was done, that I'd take the first step and file. He begged, he pleaded, he promised..... Here we are at the first of November. No promises kept, contact with OW is over, but it didn't end right away as he said it would. Contact with a previous OW started. He hid things and didn't give me access to what he promised. He told me now that I can see his email if I want. He has a BlackBerry now, so it's very easy to delete it all. And I also suspect he has another email account.
I've told him a few times in the past month and increasingly over the past few days that I'm done. I have nothing left in me for him. Sad for D5, but nothing left for him. He poured on the "Nice". I told him that I see how it works.....that he only does it when he feels he has to and when he needs to. He had things to say to me and in the end he told me that if I'd treated him better in the first place that none of this would have ever happened. I knew it would be all my fault. I'd told him that I don't see it as a matter of if things fall apart again, but of when they fall apart. In other words, when he cheats again. He said that if I'm so worried about it the maybe I should get him a job with no women and drive him to/from work. It was unbelievable. He was nasty to me this morning and then called several times today to just ask me quick questions.
I saw an attorney today. I'm not sure when I'll file, but I need to get out soon. As I said, I have nothing left for him.
Sorry for taking over your thread. Just wanted to say hi and update. I'll start my own soon!
Take care & hello to all my friends who have supported me over the past few years. I'm sorry that I took so much time off.....but I think I'm going to need you again!
SueS
ME: 42, H: 42, D6 Together: 18 yrs. Married: 15 yrs. Attended Retrouvaille - December 2009 Status: Working on it day by day
He had things to say to me and in the end he told me that if I'd treated him better in the first place that none of this would have ever happened. I knew it would be all my fault. I'd told him that I don't see it as a matter of if things fall apart again, but of when they fall apart. In other words, when he cheats again. He said that if I'm so worried about it the maybe I should get him a job with no women and drive him to/from work. It was unbelievable.
Sue, I am so glad you have seen sense although I am so very sorry your H has put you through all this. He is a major manipulator. You and your little angel will flourish without your H to hold you back. Just look at how Yoyo has spread her wings and is enjoying herself. You just have to wait until YOU are ready to reach that point. (((((HUGS))))))
I know that just because you have reached it, it doesn't make it easy. You H is just a prize slime ball. I don't know what it will take to make him change, but my guess is that whatever it is it will be so big that you and your D5 don't want to be around him when it happens. One day his luck will run out with the drinking and driving.
We are all here whenever you need us....and if I am not on the boards, you know my email.
You, Yoyo, Sara, FightingIrish, LWB, SallyM....and all the guys.....you know who you are.......were/ are such a life line to me. What a long way we have travelled.
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength