I already told them Dad left because he couldn't get along with me. I didn't want them to have no reason for this madness.
I emailed him to ask if he could spend the night with the kids next month. He thought I said this week, and I told him no, I meant next month. I used my reply as an opportunity to tell him that I was going to be out, and I didn't think I'd be back until the morning. Totally true, but for a totally harmless reason. lol
He wrote back and agreed, and asked if he could see them for a bit on Saturday. I was giddly with glee as I typed, sorry, we already have plans.
I kind of broke down this morning. Seeing his stuff in the closet kind of got to me this morning. I do okay when my babies are home, but it's hard when I'm alone.
I don’t hate you, nor am I holding anything against you. We’re going to be talking to each other a lot, for the next 20+ years, and being civil/friendly is the best for the kids.
That sentence sounds exactly like an exert from my life. My H said the EXACT same thing to me a few weeks ago. I too am in a house filled with his stuff. I don't for see it changing any time soon. We are not ready to get other places to live. As winter is coming and selling a house is not that easy. So we'll probably wait till spring, and H will stay at his sis's and I will be stuck in this big house with ALL his belongings. I feel you sad girl. Get out, go find something to do, or go to work whatever you can do today, do it. That is the only thing that gets my mind off things when I don't have the kids. Do not mope around the house, I've done that and it gets you now where. Hope y
M: 31 H: 29 Married: 6 yrs Children : 7yr old, 5yr old, 2yr old
Separated: Sept. '09 Moved Back In for wrong reasons: Nov. 30, 09 Recomitted to our Marriage: Jan. 25, 10 Threatening to leave again: July,14
Good for you. Do you have a career? I don't. I'm a stay at home mom. So of course I love it when my kids are here with me, but at the same time I feel like I don't have anything to keep me busy, I wake up everyday trying to find "things" to do to get my mind off things. Its so hard sometimes. I won't be getting a job anytime soon, as I am still full fledged DB'ing. Like a friend told me, I have a plan and I will make that plan work. Have a good day with your friend.
M: 31 H: 29 Married: 6 yrs Children : 7yr old, 5yr old, 2yr old
Separated: Sept. '09 Moved Back In for wrong reasons: Nov. 30, 09 Recomitted to our Marriage: Jan. 25, 10 Threatening to leave again: July,14
I did, but right now I'm home with my kids. My youngest just started school, so I'll probably be working again soon. I just don't know what I want to do right now.
When you feel like you're going crazy, take those babies out for a walk. Being in the house just makes it harder.
I emailed him to ask him to tell me how to fix a computer situation that D10 needed done. He said he would email the steps later this afternoon.
I sent this in reply. I figured it was a good time to squeeze it in since he sent that I don't hate you email.
~~~Email from me to him~~~
Thanks, I'll look forward to your help.
For the record, I was a [censored] to you. Every day it becomes more clear that you deserved better. I am deeply sorry for all of the pain and hurt I have inflicted on you. I truly understand your decision and I support it totally.
I want nothing but an easy transition for the kids. Being friends will allow us to be the best co-parents we can be.
I hope you have a great day.
~~~~~
Now mind you, I think I'm fantastic!! lol I just thought I should get a validation and apology in there sooner or later.
You fell into the validation equals agreeing trap. You can say you understand how he feels, without telling him you support his decision... unless you do? You can say that there are things you could have done differently, without saying you were a [censored]. You can apologize without running yourself down.
Is he the only person that could have helped with the computer problem? I'm not sure that extra contact with him is a good thing right now.
(((((Sad)))))
Last edited by Virtually_Handsome; 11/03/0906:16 PM.
