Agree...so sorry that you lost your uncle. Prayers going up for you Kalni.
Quote:
...or maybe I will not stand and file. Who knows?
Either way M, you have the TOTAL SUPPORT of all your friends here. You have time to decide what your heart wants to do.
FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
...or maybe I will not stand and file. Who knows? M
My sympathy about your uncle's passing.
Kalni,
You have worked on you. Even now, while he is busy at work, he needs to show that he wants to be with you so much that he does the same "work" on himself.
You know, when you train dogs, you are told to give a command only once. Saying sit, over and over without making the dog actually sit, teaches them nothing.
I am not saying your husband is a dog (Ummm, after his behavior maybe he is?) or that you need to command him. You make your request once, firmly, and ask him not to come around until he has said goodbye to her. That is what you NEED to be able to move to your next step in whatever relationship you are to have.
You are Kalni Sunshine, and if he wants your shine in his life he will follow through. You are worth it. And if he doesn't, he has still made a choice.
Me 45, H 46, S 23, M 26, Together 30, Bomb 6-2-08, S 6-19-08; H left 12-29-08. H home 12-09, Still MLC in 2012! Me- I have my big girl panties on. Bring it.
Hey Maria, I'm so sorry to hear that and no, your Dad doesnt need any further upsets right now. How sad for you all, sending you love.. and you're not alone, not by a long shot. Here for you. xxx
Guys you make winning back your partner sound like some kind of purgatory! .. its not all bad, it doesnt have to suck.. its quite a rare and extrodinary thing where you find yourself now - to be able to have your family back together like you did at the weekend and 'snuggle' with that man you once were madly in love with (once!) and how he called yesterday "just to say hi, see how you are, no reason...". Remember all those posts where you said he never did that? Or we wondered how he could not? And now he does!
There are little joys here and there and hope springs eternal.
And if you do turn him down and end up D, I think you would be more at peace with your decision, having had the true, elusive "2nd chance" that so many here hope for. Thats how I feel, relieved to have had another bite of the cherry and if it doesnt work out this time, c'est la vie. I would be able to move on.
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
But totally worth it. My marriage with my wife is better than it ever was.
So do not get me wrong, I just do not wish to give anyone the notion that it is like picking flowers on a picnic on a sunny 85 degree day without bugs, or clouds in the sky. ; )
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
.. its not all bad, it doesnt have to suck.. its quite a rare and extrodinary thing where you find yourself now - to be able to have your family back together like you did at the weekend and 'snuggle' with that man you once were madly in love with (once!) and how he called yesterday "just to say hi, see how you are, no reason...". Remember all those posts where you said he never did that? Or we wondered how he could not? And now he does!