No skirmish south of the border .... that has to be tough. Especially when there are plenty north of the border. Even palnning to grab something to eat is a chore. Come to think of it, those are probably two of my favourite things to do ... skirmish and eat. Reminds me of an old Seinfeld episode where Costanza sneeks some food to bed.... :-)
Reminds me of an old Seinfeld episode where Costanza sneeks some food to bed.... :-)
Ha Ha I remember that episode.
I did have a talk with W, Nothing major but I did tell her that she can't continue to take out her frustrations on me, plus a few other things. I will (if I get the chance) try to summerise later.
This weekend nice W ask if we could go out for a meal to which I just mumbled ok, then she added “oh but you have to pay” to which I raised an eybrow, then mean W snapped back “oh forget it, it was just an idea”.
I dont understand this. If you are married, are not all financial things shared? Or are you like the couple in the movie "The Joy Luck Club" who itemize every financial thing?
Tough one on the border dispute. Tool #4 of the Bettermen Tools in the "Hold on to your NUT's" book - Run the Sex and Romance Departments.
Lately I’ve just been observing W and I definitely see 2 personalities, nice W and mean & bitchy W. At the moment I’m not reacting to either of them so there is no walking on eggshells for me just a kind of stability in the mood around the house. I think it’s a bit like dropping the rope and focusing on other things. I don’t think there is anything I can do to change W.
Lanzo
Boy Lanzo this sounds allot like my sitch except my W’s two personalities are Nice Wife and I don't care wife... But like you I a trying not to react to either one. Even when she is doing something nice I just kind of let it go. I read an article in “Surviving Your Spouse's Midlife Crisis” and it says (as they say in DBing)
“It is human nature to want what we can’t have. Why should your spouse put any thought into a relationship with you if you are constantly reminding him/her how much you love them or want to save the marriage?”
Detaching/Galing/DBing…I guess it is all the same. Keep on course buddy WE WILL GET THROUGH THIS…..
Doc
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
Funny thing is I told W about her 2 personalities and that I was ignoring both of them, that got me a laugh. Top tip (Dr Love) when I ignore W or should I say when I just do my own thing W sure as heck follows me. If I chase her tail then she runs.
This weekend I'm out with they guy's on a guys only weekend, these are the good buddies I made when W was deep in her MLC (or when OM was deep in W, oops ). I've not been out with them for nearly a year now.
I'm just gonna do my own thing this weekend and I can see it's bugging the hell out of her.
Oh I just need to add that W latest medical condition means that no intimacy is possible now or in the near future and I can understand that, so at the end of the day I just need to help and support her through it.
I’m not up to much at the moment, W is not 100% and needs to see a specialist about her gynaecological problems and she wants me to accompany her. Her dads not well and is on a new course of chemotherapy, he has good and bad days but he’s soldiering on. My mums not too well with her diabetes. But despite all of this W still has a secret txt friend. I only found this out cos I was going to surprise her with a new ring tone on her phone. I don’t check her phone anymore, but as she left it at home at the weekend I thought I’d put on that ringtone she was asking me about, but as soon as I switched it on it pop up with a txt. “Hello beautiful hope you workin hard......" Followed by some idle chit chat, nothing serious but enough to get my blood boiling” (what you see is normally the tip of the iceberg).
Anyway in good old fashion style I’ve gone dark on her, I can’t be bother with any sociable interaction, I’m just doing my own thing and having fun with D8. On the D8 front I can say I have ticked another box, I‘ve taught her to swim now without a float, we are both so chuffed (happy) about that. That girl is so good and makes me so proud, and I can still say I am still holding onto that “best dad in the world title”.
Wow....that breaks my heart about all the problems. I sure hope your W gets the right doctor b/c I finally found one a few months ago and he has helped me in that area a whole lot. When a woman's hormones are out of whack.....then she is just simply messed up!
Well, you know I'm old fashion and don't think wives should have men friends to socialize with....when it doesn't include her H. Just leads to no good! Sure hope she will stop going down that old road.
As usual, you left me with a smile by telling me about your little girl. I can imagine you teaching her how to swim and how proud you are and how happy she is when she accomplishes a task. Yes, you are a great dad....no doubt about that. Lan, your D will not forget this special bonding between the two of you. This is not in vain. There is something special that D's feel for their dad's. I may have shared this with you before, I can't remember....but I told my son something when he found out he was having a baby girl. A little girl's daddy is the first man in her life that she will ever love. How he treats her and loves her and raises her to be a young lady is so important. You are doing a wonderful job and I pray you will continue. My father has been gone for a long time but I miss him terribly. I remember so many things he told me .......and your D will remember the things you say and do. God bless you, my friend. Stay well and be happy.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
I’ve not posted in month now but here’s a little update.
Originally Posted By: Lanzo
The other habit I need to kick are the late night raids on the fridge for a comfort snack, this is the source of my weight gain.
So I’m back in the gym every night working to get back in shape.
I’ve dropped 15lbs since the end of October and I’m really pleased about that, I’m feeling much fitter and I can actually run on the treadmill again. (I don’t wobble as much now). I past my 47th birthday earlier this month, many thanks to all of those that wished me well.
W still rides her own roller coaster of drama, which ranges from incidents at work, to doctors mis diagnosing her fathers condition (her opinion only) all of these still catches me out even if I’m trying specifically to avoid them. There's not much happening in the bedroom either, I tried to instigate something the other morning and was refused, it wasn’t the refusal which peed me off it was the excuse ”your snoring kept me awake all night,” and that was followed by “I’m not gonna make you make me late for work”. Those pi$$ poor excuses bring back bad memories for me as well as annoying me. Anyway thats enough focus on W, apart from me saying, the more I observe the more I see our problems are down to her.
So D8 and I are concentrating on her maths and numbers. In our schools she is in year 3, but she still struggles with year 2 maths. Recently we cracked simple divisions, that’s dividing numbers like 9, 8, 12, 20 etc. telling the time, and numbers to the nearest 100 (eg 135 is it nearest to 100 or 200). We persevere and I have told her that it’s my aim to get her to the top of the class, even if she doesn't believe me.
Christmas decorations are up, this year I put the tree and the lights up myself as W was of on another drama filled excursion, and I can tell you that was the most stress free Chrismas experience I have had. So I’ve told W from now on I do the tree and the lights myself.
So at the moment status is quo, or not much has changed, so I’ll update you all again soon. (sooner if anyone shouts out to me).
). I've not been out with them for nearly a year now.