Trust...but VERIFY, and he has to know you are going to check up on him and you have to.
When you are worried about something, you have to tell him.
He wants this, then he should be willing to jump through hoops. But in time, as long as he is trustworthy you are going to have to start removing some of those hoops.
Trust can be rebuilt as long as he wants to and you are willing.
Kalni..mostly repetitive stuff and stuff you already know. You can't just walk back into this and say, "OK..it's all done now, let's get back to being loving couples."
As Jack said, this is HARD WORK and it 'sucks'.
If you've ever watched the old Star Trek, Scottie, the engineer said, "fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." H MUST be able to do the work to PROVE to you he wants you. You have the right to tell him that you will want to 'verify' things at times. You have the right to tell him that you 'still feel pain.'
I agree with Jack in that, if H proves to you that he wants you and regrets his actions, then, the past becomes the past. Similarly, most people only have two choices that are clear cut: 1)If you don't want to save your M, then file and move on 2) If you choose to stand, than you MUST find a way to detach and move on with your life in the interim
Similarly, Kalni, only YOU know if you can trust your H again. 1) If you can.......................................
FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
