I think this is exactly where both GIMA and I are.
I am wondering how many other people are in this sort of situation. I would characterize it as a "Stalled WAS" The spouse walked away emotionally/psychologically, but for one reason or another never left and are themselves stuck in the status quot.
Quote:
I am really not sure how to put strings on what I would really want, which is "be open to the M and the R".
Thinker/GIMA - I am in the same boat. W has been emotionally checked out and "Divorced in Spirit" for 12 months now, but for whatever reason (the kids, actually) she won't go. I would accept what Thinker said above as my 'strings' as well - just be open to the possibility of M working out.
Trying,
The problem with making the "strings" what we want is that isn't a change in the status quo. They know that's what we want. They just aren't prepared to do that, for whatever reason.
And we all know that. And don't get me wrong, this is very scary stuff.
But the truth of the matter is that we are M'd (legally) to women who have emotionally checked out on the MR a long time ago. So, they are leaving the choice of what to do, in a sense, up to us. Call that what you will, but for better or for worse, we are going to have to be the ones to decide where things go from here.
Hang in there. We will all handle it and get through this.
