What to do, what to do?

[LuLu]

js- Thanks for sharing your story. I have zero expectations for MC. Like you, we went to MC early on. H was so cold and emotionless. The counselor was pro-marriage (thanks to DB that's all I've been finding us) and wanted him to go NC with OW and seek therapy. He said no. H said he felt no emotions. C said it was there but it was hidden in there. It's just recently that I've started to see some emotions. This is after after almost 5 months and I think only because of the kids. Your C was terrible. All you can do is work on yourself. I get it now. We work on ourselves because a. it brings our H's back or b. we get so strong that we don't even want them anymore. Either way it's win-win.


Last night was okay. I could tell my mom was a little anxious about it all so I just turned most of my attention towards her and the girls. H & Mom were civil, not much small talk. So it was all good. We feasted on some Thai food and set our floats into the river. It was fun.

When it was time to get ready for bed, dd 2yr old kept saying Daddy stay here. She kept getting more books for Daddy to read (we usually do 2 books all together on the couch). She must have grabbed 5 books. She was stalling. She did not want H to leave. It was so sad. I usually put her to bed but last night she wanted to H to hold her and kept saying Daddy stay here. It broke my heart. I finally was able to put her to bed but I was crying and still am if I think about it. I have such a heavy heart. H ended up staying for a few minutes after that. I went to the kitchen to straighten up a bit and H asked me, "What do I do?" I had a mouthful but only said, I'm not going to tell you what to do. You do what you think is best (that was a big thing in our marriage - me telling him what to do). It was so sad I'm so depressed just thinking about it. My poor sweet babies.

H called this morning asking how dd was. She was still in bed so I had no idea. He said that he couldn't sleep all night and that he was heartbroken. I'm going out on Friday pm and he told me that he was going to sleep here that night and be here in the am to wake up with the kids and cook them breakfast. He also said that he wants to move back in for the kids but wasn't sure if that was the best thing for us. He said we'll see what the MC says on Monday. I just said ok. Huge 180 for me because I am a talker! Anyway, interesting chain of events here. Looks like someone may be getting his emotions back and coming to realize that he may not come first after all.