Today W was all nice and gave me pictures of D1 for myself and to hand out to my family when she came to pick her up.
This evening she parked herself and D1 next door with OM.
I'm not really reacting to any of it... still feels like a slap in the face regardless.
She could care less about the family she has torn apart, just like OM. Just a ridiculous situation this has been.
I'm really sorry about this. I think we all know how this feels.
She's trying to do nothing more than rile you. You're doing great. Don't react to it. If you do, she wins and you lose power. If you don't, she will keep pushing and pushing and pushing until you do react or until she snaps. You just need to make sure she snaps first. When she does she loses all the power.
Maybe I'm off base, but that's what I see my situation as - a power struggle. It's about you retaining your power and making yourself feel better as a result.
It still amazes me who WAS have so much love for you one week and can do this stuff the next. No matter what I read, what I understand about them or what I see them going through I still think I could never do it myself. Maybe the LBS's are just better people?
Last edited by P17; 11/03/0910:10 AM.
Me 36, W 34 | D 8 | M 3.5y Sep 2Aug09 | Left 6Sep09 | OM in 10Oct09 | NC 17Nov09 | Gave up caring - Jan 2010
"Have integrity. Do what is right, not what is expedient." "Delay is the antidote for anger"
No matter what I read, what I understand about them or what I see them going through I still think I could never do it myself. Maybe the LBS's are just better people?
I don't know that better is the right word, but maybe different? I do see WAS usually seem to have more of a self-focus and sometimes addictive behavior so maybe more of a predisposition to affairs (or alcohol or gambling or whatever). I think a lot of LBS tend to have more of an others-focus and focus on others instead of themselves.
I wouldn't say we're better though. Maybe we are both somewhat out of balance. My X (and I suspect many or most WAS) have too much of a focus on self, and would be benefited by working on focusing on others. I think LBS are too focused on the WAS and family or whatever, and would benefit by focusing on self sometimes (I have learned and work on this myself).
Sorry about your sitch living next to the OM. That must be so difficult and detaching, how tough that must be with that added complication. Your W is thoughtless (typical WAS!) as well.
But how strong you must be!!! At least can you start looking around for different places to move now; it took me a while to find the right place. And something to look forward to? (((((DC)))))
I do see WAS usually seem to have more of a self-focus and sometimes addictive behavior so maybe more of a predisposition to affairs (or alcohol or gambling or whatever).
Spending money, particularly on clothes and shoes in my wife's case (and friend had even warned her about it).
Never thought about that before Karen. A bit of an eye opener.
Me 36, W 34 | D 8 | M 3.5y Sep 2Aug09 | Left 6Sep09 | OM in 10Oct09 | NC 17Nov09 | Gave up caring - Jan 2010
"Have integrity. Do what is right, not what is expedient." "Delay is the antidote for anger"
Sorry about your sitch living next to the OM. That must be so difficult and detaching, how tough that must be with that added complication. Your W is thoughtless (typical WAS!) as well.
But how strong you must be!!! At least can you start looking around for different places to move now; it took me a while to find the right place. And something to look forward to? (((((DC)))))
Whatever doesn't kill you right? I weaned myself off of the Px ADs - but they helped a ton.
I've upgraded my Y membership and have been taking the kids ther in the evenings to swim, etc. while I boost my endorphins the old fashioned way: Running, lifting weights, and flexing in a mirror.
It is what it is... my situation may be different than a lot because it was directly in my face - but I'm sure there are others who have faced something similar.
What finally killed my feelings for her was the ongoing thoughtless attitude. I do not think I will ever understand that.
"You can't reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into."
I appreciate it Puppy. I probably need the extra strength as W is parked next door with OM right now. No point in saying anything since I've already given up on the M, but not D1.
"You can't reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into."
Hi DC, I agree with puppy, and like I told Mdoodles, I have a source of dead otter... super stinky... And if he get caught with it, its a federal offense!
Have you thought about moving when all is said and done? I really wanted to stay in my place, but Im becoming more open to the idea of movin on lately. But I do understand the desire to not uproot anything else in these sitches.
As a former lifeguard and swim instructor, good job taking the kids swimming! It so important for them to learn how to be safe around the water. And its really good for you. Get some yellow-colored goggles I think that they have a mood lifting effect. Yellow colored sunglasses do the same thing.
I guess I gave the wrong finger to the wrong man...
