For those with a WAS...How do you cope?

[courts0818]

Hi bluerain,
What do you mean when you say: "How do you think that H would react if you just took him and his "contributions" toward taking care of DD out of the picture?" Do you mean not asking him to watch her or what?

Things have been all over the place, but a couple of months ago I told him no more popping in and out whenever he felt like it. At that point we created a set schedule - he would come to our home on Tues. & Thurs. nights and keep her here. That worked for a bit, then that schedule sort of went away and now it's back. However, when I have things to do, work commitments or whatever, I do ask if he can watch her. I am going to tell him about my upcoming work schedule and tell him (nicely) he needs to do it. I'm not going to start by asking my mom or sister to be here at 4:30 in the morning or to keep DD overnight during the week. I guess it might come to that, but for now he needs to step up (or get a swift kick in the a$$!).

When you finally decided that you were done, how did you know? I second guess everything and just when I think I'm done, I keep hanging on to hope. And you said that you had done great things with your life and had a def. direction - was that through GAL during the torture of the affair and the broken R? Just wondering.

By the way, your H caught the OW with another man??? Oh my...first, what a tramp she is - she needs to find some morals and values already! Second, that's karma right there.

Well, I kinda realize my H sucks too! But I can't decide if it's bc the choices he's making right now or bc...well...he just sucks and isn't as wonderful as I thought. I mean I guess I've really seen his true colors and it's not a pretty picture.

I do still love him - sometimes I'm not even sure how or why. But my love and my patience can't wait forever. It's just not fair to me. And at this point, we want different things and we value different things. Just don't know if he will ever come around or when he does...maybe it will be way too late.

Moving on to happy thoughts...
ha ha...I know - is that chicken costume funny or what? : ) It was adorable with fleece orange pants that had little claw feet and a big, fluffy and kinda feathery white jacket thing with a hood that had little red feathers on top. SO CUTE!