How did the succesful people get out of thus stick in the mud state and how long should this take. I am three months in and I feel like I have plugged the hole in the boat for the time being but can't bring myself to row to shore or bail the boat out, etc.
That's where "Fake it till you make it" and "Act As If" come into play. You have to suck it up and give our spouse your best foot forward, every chance you can. If you come across as happy and lively, it makes a change from what their internal script says should be happening (whining, clingy, depressed).
Definitely been not whining, pitiful, etc. in front of her for the past couple of months and always careful to put my best foot forward. I just keep backsliding on trying to focus on improving myself rather than what W is doing. Every time I see her typing on her phone, my attitude goes south. I really hope that I can reach that point where what she is doing doesn't bother me. Maybe once I start achieving some more of my goals it will help.
