The adventure chronicles

[AFWAW]

Ekie,
You do have a point however I'm not so inflexible that I would absoloutely rule any possibility out. I have not come on here and said no way, no how. I told my wife that if she would go to 12 sessions of couseling and we could start dating that if we got the point where we were comfortable with each other, I would consider letting her come home. See, I haven't ruled it out. She had made it all about this OW on facebook and it's not about that. It's about the fact that she made this mess and she needs to be the one to make the effort to clean it up. I've acknowledged my shortcomings in the marriage and was perfectly willing to work on them for a while. A while is only a while though and after the 6 month point, I started to care less and less as it felt like I was the only one that cared.

At the beginning AFWAW was like other LBS’s and was flailing in the dark and got lots of good advice that he did not follow. Why not, not sure but am sure it is the same reason most all LBS’s don’t follow through on the advice given.

It was because I was too emotional, too scared and too unsure or what wouldn't work and what would. After a while, I figured I had nothing to lose and everything to gain.

What I sense is that the dynamics have shifted here. AFWAW no longer wants his WAW back. He has stated he does not want her, and his actions and behavior shows he does not want her. And why should he? What, is he some sort of sadist?

You are correct, things have shifted. I don't want my old wife back. Her actions and behavior are totally unacceptable, however, if and only if she showed actions that were positive based on behavior that meant to heal and better our relationship, I would not be totally adverse to reconcilliation. This has not happened though and to be perfectly frank, I don't think this will happen. So, the real question is how much longer will this go on? And the answer is, as long as I allow it to.

AFWAW continues to get good advice, but fails to get it all right, why, because he really does not care anymore.

I post on here for several reasons, to get different perspectives, for advice and to vent. Advice is a suggestion and how you implement advice is up to the individual. Every situation is different and it's up to each individual to formulate and execute a plan based on that situation. So, having said that, you are correct, I will not get it all right but I will attempt to do the best I can. Saying that I don't care anymore is a stretch. I think it's probably more accurate to say that I'm not as emotionally attached and dependent as I was when this first started. Of course I still care or else I wouldn't be posting.

My point earlier was that considering HOW I VIEW this situation, AFWAW is doing fine.

I am doing fine but everyone has there days when they are not.

In addition AFWAW derives some satisfaction for now being in control of the situation, and rightly so.

Not as much as you would think unfortunately.