Yikes! Need help, please.

[TrentC]

I hope you're right, but if I don't encourage contact, will they end up feeling abandoned by him? They probably already do, despite my constantly telling them that their dad loves them.

Then what needs to happen is you and your H must sit the kids down, and your husband (not you!) must explain why he is splitting the family up. It must not be presented as "we decided", and he sure as hell can't try to shift the blame onto you; you need to be there to keep the record straight.

After that, your kids can decide how they feel about keeping in contact with him. Let him make any promises he wants: he'll be responsible for keeping them, not you.