I hear what you are saying Cutter... but there is no concrete proof. No, spending patterns are no different than before. There is also nothing on credit card statements that could be questionable. I get those as well as his cellphone bill, which he has asked not to be itemized, so all I see is amount owing. Again... nothing concrete. He has showed increased concern with his appearance. Worried about hair loss, weight, etc. Was at a party with some of his co-workers this summer where they were teasing him about wearing t-shirts that teenagers wear. True, a few months ago he started buying "younger" clothes. But.... yet again..... none of this is concrete "proof" of an actual A. He keeps saying the "brief" EA is now "winding down" and contact is "mainly" about work. I just don't know what to do with that....
The reason I am "noodling" (as Puppy so aptly put it) this, is that I think a lot of the approach I take from here on will depend on this. If he is telling the truth, then I focus on the MC, DBing, not pressuring, giving him space, etc.
BUT... if I am being lied to and the EA is still in full swing and/or there is a PA... then what? Exposure? (they work together) Kick him out?.... I'm not sure. What I do know is that I am finding some self respect that I have not had in years, and every day I am getting stronger in the realization that I do NOT deserve this! But, at the same, scared out of my wits. I am very torn about this...
