Thanks for the advice. My sitch is different in that we're separated and when she left, rejected my request at MC. One thing she wants is to have day-trips with our s5, but this is hard on me in that there's tension on both sides. There's just small talk. I want to know if I should avoid most of these outings and go dark, or make the most of it and just be there for our s5. However, these may be opportunities that I can take advantage of in reconciling, but don't know how to act. Maybe I should take your advice and act like a roommate if she wants to talk and listen intently while making good eye contact.
No apologizing Sam, I am where I am today because of this form, so hijack away.
Originally Posted By: sam_oc
hanks for the advice. My sitch is different in that we're separated and when she left, rejected my request at MC. One thing she wants is to have day-trips with our s5, but this is hard on me in that there's tension on both sides. There's just small talk. I want to know if I should avoid most of these outings and go dark, or make the most of it and just be there for our s5. However, these may be opportunities that I can take advantage of in reconciling, but don't know how to act. Maybe I should take your advice and act like a roommate if she wants to talk and listen intently while making good eye contact.
I can't answer this as my wife still slept next to me each night, at first she said because she did not want S6 to ask questions. I think I have to be thankful that W did not want S6 to think anything was wrong yet, so it gave me time to work on myself and make the changes in me that I wanted and this made her see the man she fell in love with in the first place.
Maybe that is what you need to do, work on yourself, let her see you make the changes, but don't mention them to her, she will see them. As she sees you changing and you becoming more confident she will see the man she fell in love with and want to work on the marriage.
Me: 39 W: 34 S:6 M:11 years T: 13 Years B: 07/2009 Possibly BUSTED: 11/2009
Thanks again. So, you're saying I should continue doing the day-trips with s5 so that she can see the changes in me? If so, I will just need to be patient and be there even though it makes me uncomfortable. Hey, that's it! Part of my detachment process is improving the way I feel when I'm with her. If I am tense and uncomfortable, then I haven't fully detached. She's really supplying the litmus test. Maybe the more I get better at detachment, the more relax she'll be... the more we'll have a better time with s5.
Hey, that's it! Part of my detachment process is improving the way I feel when I'm with her. If I am tense and uncomfortable, then I haven't fully detached. She's really supplying the litmus test. Maybe the more I get better at detachment, the more relax she'll be... the more we'll have a better time with s5.
I think this is a good way of looking at it
Me: 39 W: 34 S:6 M:11 years T: 13 Years B: 07/2009 Possibly BUSTED: 11/2009
