For those with a WAS...How do you cope?

[TrentC]

After H blew off trick-or-treating, I wanted to ignore him all weekend. But on Sunday, a friend invited me to a concert at her church. So an hr before I needed to leave, I sent H a text asking if he could be here in a hr. He responds, "Now why would you wait until now to ask me? I can't make it now!" That reply came as no surprise to me, but it still annoyed me. So, I didn't reply and instead had my sister watch DD.

I dunno, you might have given him earlier notice that you wanted him to pick up your DD, but it's not clear how much time elapsed between being invited to the concert and you going.

And this morning he sends me this: "I'm asking now cause I know how you've been with heads up. What days do you need me to watch her this week?" For the most part he has been pretty good about watching her when I ask. But here's the thing...Why is it like this? Why am I asking - like he's doing me some kind of favor? HELLO...he's her dad - he needs to parent her, not just be her babysitter.

Agreed. He's also trying to use the incident about the concert to beat you up a little.

And he's going to be mad when I email him my work hours. For the next couple of weeks I'm helping with some health screenings and I will have to leave for work between 4:30am and 6:00am. I will need him to come over in the morning and take DD to the sitter at 7:00am - which is the earliest we can take her. He's going to be upset bc he'll have to get up SUPER early to drive all the way over here in the morning to take DD. He'll have to get up between 3:30am and 5:00am to get here in time to I can leave for work. But, he made the choice to move out so it's really not my fault. And I can't simply tell my work that I can't be there bc it's too early.

If he decides not to do it, do you have a backup plan? Your sister, maybe?

When I email him my hours, I think I might also mention what I said above - he needs to parent her and help raise, not just be a babysitter - I might say it a little nicer, but that's what he needs to hear. Thoughts???

He does need to hear it, but he's not going to hear it if you say it. It'll get screened out by the "courts is a nagging bitch" filter he's got up.

You almost have to approach this as being a single mom. If he can pull on his Big Boy Pants and deal with his responsibilities to his kid like an adult, great. If not, you need to find other arrangements.