Just got my kids back from the weekend last night. We were all tired and got to bed pretty early. They had a good time and brought home lots of candy.
I didn't get all tied up with not being able to see them on Halloween - helped that I was busy. I went to a scarf-dying event and had a chance to get very creative. Brought a friend from school with me. We went out afterwards for lunch. I went home and took a nap (the best on rainy days!), then got up and met a friend for a movie (ZombieLand). Stopped to shop a little, then home for some more scary movies. I talked with the kids for a quick minute in the middle of all that - they were on their way out to get candy, so just said a quick Goodnight.
Yesterday, went to church early to finish the scarves. Also had to change out the altar decorations (there is some other fancy word that I can't remember!). Had fun being creative again, and got loads of compliments afterwards. It is still weird to be climbing around on the altar. Had a chance to catch up with another mom who went through her D around the same time - she is still having lots of problems with her x and her S10, and she has much more open resentment toward her x that she shares with her S. Made me realize that, while I am still struggling with it, I am aware and trying very hard, doing a pretty good job most of the time.
More shopping, another nap, straightened the house, spoke with my old college friend...weekend over! *******
I went back and read the last few pages here...
I wonder, am I still "hung up" on x, and that is why I have such issues with gf being in my kids' lives? I don't think so. He is who he has proven himself to be, and as long as I keep re-reading the "complaint" list I made about him and our marriage, I know that I am better off without him. (I was thinking about this - x was such a huge part of my life for more than 20 years, seems that I have to wait for cell turn-over to get him "out of my system!" So, I will keep reading my list to keep those rose-colored glasses the he11 off my face!)
But the thing with gf doesn't seem to be as directly related. She can have him. I don't care what he does with her when they are together. I am bothered by her time with my children...I think it may be because we were also "friends," and she betrayed me directly.
Again, I realize how completely beyond my control this is, and that I have to come to terms with it. I don't feel like I am sitting on x's curb, waiting for him to come home. But I was also late to the anger and blame party - hope to blow through it as quickly as I can, knowing that it only goes to hurt me and build my resentment. Neither of them could care less if I'm angry (actually adds fuel to their self-righteousness fire).
OT, x's family are officially dumped. I came to the same conclusions you outlined, and I'm ok with it. The R I have with his parents has transformed to friends - I thanked her for the invitation to Thanksgiving, but said that I had made plans. I tell you, going through all I've had certainly puts things into perspective. Loosing his family, while not a happy thing, is definitely much easier to get over.
My single life - well, I outlined what I did for the weekend at the beginning of this post. I think the big thing missing is dating, so may look to add that in, in the not-too-distant future. Funny - the one area I can think of to look at examples of adult dating is at Seinfeld. Wonder where those people met all those dates?
As for other single-Donna things: Zumba on Wednesdays church - Spirituality discussion 2x/month Altar decorating Sunday school teacher Board of Directors for local Preschool Full-time Art teacher, mentor to new teachers I'll be running a 5-week program after school at a local modern art museum with kids this month, too Building some new friendships with other singles - all my other friends are married, and we don't hang out like I used to (awkward third-wheel thing? IDK...) Taking control of my house (again/still!!) - using FlyLady to build up routines and get things on autopilot.
Got back onto EHarmony...we'll see if anything comes of that. I still look at POF from time to time.
Might get doggie into obedience classes on Saturdays. Will be looking at joining a gym / taking dance lessons after the first of the year.
So, things seem to have settled again for me, emotionally. Hope it was just another "click" moment on my journey.
