Whew.... I knew I'd have to take a few deep breaths before reading your response.... but I asked for it right? :-)
OK - re: the cellphone... I don't know how to do that without the proof... which is one of the reasons I'm debating whether I need to find out. I would be accused of putting our family's financial security at risk for my own suspicisions which he is adamantly saying are not true....
About your other questions: a)I don't know yet... one of the reasons I am so bloody scared b) I am still reeling from all this. I am not even sure any more what the right reasons are? I know I don't deserve to be lied to. I know my kids don't deserve to be lied to (dad's working late all the time these days - I don't lie about it, I tell them to ask him and that is what he tells them). I just feel like the anxiety caused by the unknown is driving me crazy. I don't know... I guess I do need to "noodle" this some more... c) I don't know that I can answer that either. Every thing in me wants to believe that he is telling the truth... and that the worst case scenario is that the EA is continuing more than he is admiting. I want to believe there is no PA. The man I've known all these years I would have never believed would do that. But,.... I just don't know anymore. I always thought it would be a deal breaker when it seemed like some unlikely possibility that would NEVER happen to me in my M. But, now that this possibility could be very real, I don't know the answer to that either.
Sheesh... do I sound wishy-washy or what?! I'm just so freaking scared, overwhelmed, still in shock... BUT... detaching enough, and getting strong enough to feel like I have to do something to protect me and the kids here....
