Well we aren't going to therapy. Back to darkness.
H freaked out about the "legal ramifications" of going to MC with me before a sep agreement is signed, and I didnt' want to deal with his craziness. I told him I wanted to cancel.
I took control of the situation. I realize now it's all a ploy anyhow to rearrange the situation with our son. H wants to have him at his apt. I think and he knows I won't go for it. It's going to be a tough discussion which is why I originally thought MC was a good place for it.
But if he's going to be nervous and controlling about it, I can't see how this will help. He may not even open up or feel safe listening to my side if he's so worried about what he says could be used in court against him down the line.
I feel good that I took control and told him I'd just go alone to the C session.
Now it's up to him to continue to make nice and have a civil conversation with me if he wants to negotiate with me.
What I'm wondering today is - all the niceness I saw the last week and a half - was this a result of my good DBing - my not calling him, getting off the phone first, having a back up plan to leave as soon as he gets angry - not pursuing etc.
Or, was it all a ploy on his part to butter me up so he could get something he wants from me?
This is such a hell.
I must not be doing DB right. I'm not seeing results as much as I thought. I read SP's great post and sure, I'm stopping a D, but I don't really see any point when there's no M? Any advice?
