Thanks Rabbit.... I think that is what I need to do for now.

Puppy, thanks for stopping by again. smile
OK... so I know i still need to work on boundaries. The cell phone issue is one I am struggling with b/c it is used by H for his job, which is contract work, and we are completely dependent on that income. Without that phone, he can't do his work. However, I have let it get behind in payments.... wink a little passive-aggressive I know, but hopefully a message sent.

My other question has to do with finding out what is really going on. I see from your posts on other threads that you seem to be somewhat of an "expert" on finding out the truth when you are getting lied to by your WAS. You have been blunt with me that you think I am being lied to. H is maintaining the same story... there was an EA, briefly... they let boundaries "get fuzzy" but that they have both realized that is not right and are now in contact "mainly" about work. He adamantly has maintained no PA. They still work together. So, no contact is not possible. H is regularly out until 1 or 2 a.m. and claims to be out with guys from work and/or by himself taking time to "think through things".

I have no proof that H's story about this is or is not true. I know very little about OW.

My questions are: should I try to find out if I am being lied to? Or, do I just keep DBing and let that go for now until/unless some evidence does come forward?
And, if I should... how do I go about it? This type of behavior is soooo outside my nature and I don't have a clue how to go about anything like this.

The last thing I am asking for help with is, basically... that I know I need to grab a backbone here! lol I really do. But, I am scared s---less! I think I am finally getting emotionally strong enough to start moving in this direction, but again don't really know where to start.

Sorry Puppy, I know this is a lot... I really appreciate your help!
Thanks!
Rocked