"I am not excited to leave you, but I am excited to feel safe and not threatened".
Your job as a husband is to make your wife feel secure, I don't care if that sounds sexist or not, that's your job. And you failed that job, your wife even gives you clues about this but you continue to keep walking around in your own fog not understanding how she can so easily give up the relationship she has with you.
She doesn't feel secure with you. All she knows is that when the $hit hits the fan, you're there to protect & take care of yourself first and her afterwards. That's what she is used to. You don't make her feel secure & protected, so much so that living apart from you will enable her to feel more safe.
Are you grasping this idea yet?
Your wife is actually giving you some answers on your problems.
