Remember that MLC has two parts. It is often a mid life party or discovery of one's self to the person at the center. But it is truly a crisis to the others nearest the center, and that can destroy people.
You sound like you're doing a great job and becoming aware of that difference. Her life transition is not something you own, and it will only be a crisis for you to the extent you allow it. Own your happiness instead, and that of your son.
If she ever has the great fortune of finding her way back into this world, and your life as a normal caring person ... cool. That would make her a very lucky person. She will have to make her own luck.
