No one forced me all those years to do with out and cater to my H's evey whim. Although I would like to think he did... that was my choice. I have to own that. I guess without realizing it I thought if he got everything he wanted at some point he would realize what a GREAT wife I was and see how much I loved him and he would love me back.
I tried the same thing. "Acts of Service" must not be my W's Love Language. It's a book you can buy. The Five Love Languages. You should read up on those.
In fact, in my case, the past three years the more I did to help the more resentful she grew. Finally, one day she said I didn't help out of love, but because I was trying to make her so dependant on me that she couldn't divorce me.
I went to a marriage rebuilders class and learned that what I'd been doing was really trampling all boundaries in the marriage. I was Mr. Great Husband, look at how good I am, and she was supposed to be grateful. Turns out, I'd have been better off asking for some ground rules and if she wanted to be responsible for dinner and cleaning then I should have let her EVEN IF dinner was late and the cleaning wasn't done. I needed to let her ask me rather than just do it. I ruined her self worth.
First time I read this thread and I read this post and it sounds EXACTLY like what I did. I treated him like a KING..hoping he would see just how lucky he was. But I honestly think it just pushed him away further, as he resented me because he just couldn't reciprocate those feelings. Seems now my husband is suffering from self esteem and self worth problems as well....
