It is very odd how we can be in such steep denial of our thoughts, fears, etc. all the time. Depression is also something that is easier for a woman to admit than a man b/c society has told us males we're to be strong, so to admit being depressed is a sign of weakness.
It is good your BF is moving forward. Too bad you had to spend two years in purgatory to get to this stage, but hopefully things will continue to progress for you both and you'll find the agony was well worth the effort.
RTL PS - Two things: How are you feeling? How badly did you "let" him beat you?
